Jim Irsay is the biggest reason why the Indianapolis Colts will never win anything of note again.
It is a new NFL season, but sadly, the Indianapolis Colts are still owned by one Jim Irsay.
On the latest episode of What on God's Green Earth Are We Doing?, I present to you a recently renovated hallway right outside of the Colts' locker room. Proudly emblazoned on said hallway is a quote from none other than Irsay himself. It gives off the vibe of Michael Scott quoting himself while simultaneously quoting Wayne Gretzky during one of the very best episodes The Office ever had.
Roll up my sleeve and tattoo this quote on my bicep so I can look at it while I do curls in the mirror.
"When you walk in the locker room, there is a circle, and my obligation to everyone in that locker room is the circle has to be as strong as possible to give us a chance to win."
This is the same owner who traded for one of the most unlikable players in NFL history in Carson Wentz. Clearly, what is happening is Irsay is flexing on everyone that his alma mater is now Power Five.
Jim Irsay plasters his quote outside of the Indianapolis Colts' locker room
There is a reason why the Colts have not won the AFC South since I started penning sports articles for a living: Jim Irsay. The Indianapolis cloud is a real thing. You walk into the Colts' facility and your IQ drops 25 points immediately upon arrival. It did a number on their former head coach Frank Reich and it may have turned the front-office genius within Chris Ballard into someone very middle of the pack.
Look. I want the Colts to be good. I would love nothing more than for Anthony Richardson to be Josh Allen, 2.0 playing for Shane Steichen for the next decade-plus. The Colts have incredible fans and the city of Indianapolis loves this NFL team. But enough is enough is enough! The Colts have become as weirdly run as the Jerry Jones Dallas Cowboys. This is starting to smell like Al Davis' Oakland Raiders.
Overall, there is nothing wrong with an owner like Irsay being this invested into his team, but bless his heart. Like, who had eyes on this? Who approved ... that?! As if the Colts players and coaches needed another reason to roll their eyes into the back of their heads on a perpetual basis, here is your quote for the ages. I am not a strong reader to begin with, but that quote was Irsay merely talking in circles. Literally!
Nevertheless, when I think of how tight locker rooms must be going forward, I will think of the Colts.