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5 new Washington Commanders nicknames to end name-change cycle forever

2023-07-22 07:50
The Washington Commanders are once again mulling over the possibility of a name change. Here are five ideas to end the cycle once and for all.The Washington Commanders have only been the Washington Commanders for a little over a year. Before that was a brief stint as the 'Washington Footbal...
5 new Washington Commanders nicknames to end name-change cycle forever

The Washington Commanders are once again mulling over the possibility of a name change. Here are five ideas to end the cycle once and for all.

The Washington Commanders have only been the Washington Commanders for a little over a year. Before that was a brief stint as the 'Washington Football Team,' and before that of course was a long and much-maligned stint as the Washington Redskins.

While it was past time for Washington to move beyond their previous moniker, it's hard to get excited about a team called the 'Commanders.' It's a fitting name for the D.C. locals. A military term, a term associated with power and command, something Washington would very much like to achieve on the football field.

And yet, the name has been met with universal eye rolls and a general lack of enthusiasm — so much so that new ownership could change the name again.

The Commanders were sold earlier in the week to an ownership group helmed by current Philadelphia 76ers owner Josh Harris. One high-profile minority owner is Magic Johnson, who hinted at the possibility of another name change to reinvigorate the franchise.

Here are five names that are better than 'Commanders' and good enough to end this cycle once and for all.

No. 5 Washington Commanders alternate name: Armada

The 'Washington Armada' was pitched as a possibility before 'Commanders' was officially picked in 2022. It's a simple but effective name for a team based out of the nation's capitol. It's another military term, but there's something more intimidating about a fleet of battleships compared to a bunch of military generals.

Side note: let's please avoid 'Washington Generals' too, or god forbid somethin
g like 'Washington Presidents.' Why are we trying to equate football players to soldiers or government officials? 'Armada' incorporates a wide-ranging history of ships and maritime adventure.

The Los Angels Clippers have a monopoly on nautical sports nicknames at the moment, and come on — Armada is superior to Clippers by a millionfold.

No. 4 Washington Commanders alternate name: Washington Football Team

'Washington Football Team' wasn't exactly a beloved moniker in the moment, but with the benefit of hindsight and a season of Commanders football in the rearview mirror, there's budding nostalgia for a simpler time.

The format of 'Washington Football Team' is by no means breaking new ground. Every football (read: soccer) club around the world is named in this general fashion. Barcelona FC. New York City FC. Fenerbahce SK. And so forth. The née-Commanders would simply be bringing the popular format back to the NFL on a permanent basis.

'WFT' is a clean and simple abbreviation. No more trying in vain to shorten Commanders — Comms? Manders? Yikes! — and no more trying in vain to figure out the perfect mascot for the nation's capitol. Make Washington the mascot!

No. 3 Washington Commanders alternate name: Wolves

'Wolves' isn't the most unique or innovative name, but something about 'Washington Wolves' rolls off the tongue. It's alliterative — a stout and sturdy name. Why get caught up in extra syllables or a misguided stab at patriotism when you can simply break out the 'WW' abbreviation, fashion a sleek logo around one of nature's most elegant predators, and sit contentedly while the Wolves devour the Cowboys.

'RedWolves' was a name finalist in 2022. The gut instinct to shoehorn 'Red' into the name is understandable given the team's history, but there was quite a bit of justified controversy around the original team name and there's no need to pay homage. Leave 'Red' in the past and look toward the future.

While wolves aren't generally thought of as D.C. creatures, the area has been dealing with a sprawling population of coyote-wolf hybrids, so there's a local tie. "Washington Coyote-Wolves" is too wordy, so we'll stick with Wolves for now.

No. 2 Washington Commanders alternate name: Hogs

'Redhogs' was on the 2022 list of name finalists, an homage to the 'Hogs' nickname that has circulated the fandom for decades. Again, there's no need to shoehorn 'Red' into the name here — trim it to 'Hogs' and you have a short, simple, phonetically pleasing name that has cultural ties to the franchise.

Hogs aren't as traditionally mighty as wolves, but wild hogs have a gnarly reputation and it feels appropriate to have a pig-themed team. It's called a pigskin, after all. Hogs are known to charge their prey with heads down and tusks bared. Washington has always been a running back team focused on winning wars waged in the trenches. 'Hogs' embodies that.

The Arkansas Razorbacks are proof that pigs can be effectively marketed as fearsome sports mascots.

No. 1 Washington Commanders alternate name: Redtails

Okay, slight departure from the "keep red out of the name!" argument here. Redtails wasn't on the list of finalists a year ago, but it has been circulating around the Commanders fanbase for a while. From Cody Benjamin at CBS Sports:

"'Redtails' has been a longtime fan favorite for its historical ties to the Tuskegee Airmen, the famous African-American pilots who fought in World War II. It also bears some resemblance to Washington's best-known nickname."

There's something fitting about using the Washington football nickname to promote diversity, even at the most basic level, after years of shamelessly using a racist mascot. 'Commanders' is already a military term, as were several of the name finalists a year ago. This checks the capitol-city patriotism box while also spotlighting a historic landmark of diversity and inclusion in America.

There's already a plane-themed team in the NFL, but nobody takes the Jets seriously. Maybe, just maybe, folks will take Redtails seriously. More seriously than Commanders, at the very least.